where is my home

Hi. I'm back again and I think I'll stay for a while. I haven't written anything in so long and for some reason I feel quite guilty about it as I'm writing right this. I'm sorry I abandoned this page. But I'll write frequently now (I think). After all, this is giving me so much comfort because recently, I haven't felt so.. good. I think I just miss home. Yeah, I moved and it's almost been two weeks. The house is nice. Very big, lights everywhere. Modern. It's beautiful. And it's so different from the old house. So different from home. I miss home. I cried already last week and I don't think there are tears left but I do miss it every day. I thought I could easily move on and, you know, just, be chill about this moving thing but I forgot how hard it is to leave something you're attached to. Something you've always been with almost your whole life—11 years to be exact. But I knew this day would eventually come so. This house is so big and bright and it has a fridge with youtube and a water heater in each bathroom but I miss the cold water in my old bathroom. The bathroom which I spent almost half an hour in, just acting out fake scenarios and, showering, obviously. My bedroom here is spacious too, with changing space and a big wardrobe but I miss my cramped old bedroom. Ah.. the small space in the living room where I used to write and sit for classes and do my homework. Oh that small space... I practically lived there. And I'd like to call that spot the homest of the home. I used to listen to my playlists there and now the songs don't sound nor feel the same anymore. 

This house is amazing. It has a large garden and I can lay on the ground looking at stars and Moon. There's a fish pond too, but the fish don't come to the surface often, so I rarely get to see them. I think they're having a hard time adjusting to this new place too. That's okay. Also, It gets really hot and sunny here in the morning but breezy and nice at night. I like this place. It's comfy. Really, there's nothing to hate about. And it's not bad at all to live here. I just miss home, I think we all do. 

Meanwhile, I'll just hold onto the things that make me feel like I was still there. Like this notebook I use that I've had since last year. Though, It's almost coming to an end now. Geez, I wish it had an infinite amount of pages because I know it's not gonna be good once I start writing on the last page. Tears everywhere on it, I guarantee. Or my giant teddy bear that used to be bigger than me but is now quite the same size as me. In fact, I think I'm bigger than him now. This laptop too. It's old and un-updated, I love it. Books, pillows, framed photos, albums. I'll hold onto them very tightly as I let myself adjust to this new place I'm supposed to call home. Besides, it's already so warm and easing having my family by my side. It starts with them after all, it always does. And I figured maybe I just need time to feel at home again. Like a lot of time. It's okay, I'll keep myself warm in the meantime. Au revoir.