i'm alive (both physically and mentally)

Hi there. It's been a while. Sorry for not writing for so long. Here's something to make up for it. It's a little something I wrote for the school magazine but I decided to submit another work at the very last minute and it'd be a waste to just let this very well-written piece sit in my notebook. And it doesn't have a title because I can't figure out a nice one for it, but it's OK, it doesn't necessarily need one. Here ya go! Enjoy :)

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I had cursed the universe a couple times and hadn’t bothered getting out of bed. The blinds were left closed and I grew tired of waiting. For changes, for good days. Summer had just started yet was passing by quickly and I still felt unsettled.

Why didn’t the flowers bloom?

Why was the weather so hot?

Nothing had changed. Was it supposed to, I didn’t know.

As I’m lying on the grass right now, I can’t help but get melancholy reflections of my past years when things were much tougher. I remember lying on the same grass while tears rushed down my cheeks, feeling lonely and disconnected. I was constantly beating myself up, begging me to hurry and hating myself when I couldn’t catch up with the rest. I spent a lot of days trying to remove the gloom I carried on my heart and make more room for joy.

I had been silenced

Shut off

Looked down on.

I had been wronged

By people

And I, myself.

It pains me to remember that I, too, had mistreated me in the past and I’d hate to do that to myself again.

The other day I made delicious brownies for the 1^st time. Last week I went cycling in the morning to recharge myself and I finished a wonderful book yesterday. See, these are three different things that made me feel one. Contentment. I felt content.

Isn’t it good enough? (it is)

Then I realized that I had expected too much from the world, I overlooked the little things. Besides, things don’t get better just because it’s summer. They don’t get better just because it’s the start of a new season. Maybe things are better the way they already are and changes aren’t necessary, really.

So I should breathe a little slower and be a little kinder. To both myself and the rest of the world. So should you. We could bake sweets on a sunny afternoon and share them with friends. We should clean our rooms and do the laundry afterwards. Perhaps treat ourselves to our favorite drinks too, whatever.

We should live.

We should live despite it all.

Even though breathing can be tiring sometimes, and so can living. There will always reasons we should go on. At least for me, there are, and I believe there are some for you too.